


Not Me.

by Rukomura



Series: Eteria's notebook stories [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Original Characters - Freeform, Original setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 02:01:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5439326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rukomura/pseuds/Rukomura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He forgot.<br/>No matter how many times they asked, no matter how much he tried to recall. He remembered nothing of that day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Me.

**Author's Note:**

> **This is NOT EROTIC RAPE. I DON'T SUPPORT RAPE IN ANY FORM.**
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> **I'll say it again: there's a DESCRIPTION of RAPE and MENTIONED GORE in this fanfic. Don't BOTHER reading if you can't stand such stuff. I won't be responsible if you choose to read anyway. It's up to your own discretion.**

He forgot.  
No matter how many times they asked, no matter how much he tried to recall. He remembered nothing of that day.  
Sprayed images and moments scattered in his brain was all he had. He knew it was a snowy day, a very violent one on top of all. He waved at his wife before heading to the affairs he had to do. What job he had didn't matter at all; he couldn't come back before late evening.  
She closed the door behind her after her belly moved and the child inside wanted to communicate with its father in his own way. He remembered he smiled warmly, which was just a rarity itself.  
So he walked in the high snow, prints forming on them just as he pressed his feet inside. It was very cold indeed, but they were all used to it. Their fur and clothes helped bearing the unbearable all-year winter of the region. Some thoughts crossed his mind, in particular their decision to leave Ocenia and move elsewhere. It was too small to raise their first child in an environment so uncivilized and behind all technology of other cities. There was a place he wanted to visit, a small village (almost a city, actually) with the same weather, if not a bit hotter, but with so many opportunities for youths and alike. Researchers mainly focused there and it was common to have a discovery at least twice a week.  
  
"And then, what happened?" The female white wolf asked. He knew who she was for her infamous behavior with criminals.  
  
The world fell all on his back. Yes, he was narrating her what little he remembered after a whole month.  
  
"..." He sighed. He needed to focus and gather his thoughts.  
  
"I don't have time, Amaroq Lou. Tell me why you did it and we'll have mercy on you."  
  
"I DIDN'T!" He growled and showed his teeth as if assaulting her, but he didn't. He couldn't. It wasn't in his nature being so aggressive.  
  
"Stop with that bullshit. Stop being a broken disk and tell me the truth."  
  
"This is the truth, dammit!"  
  
"No it isn't. We have proof and you know that. Heh, blood on your sharp nails which is the same as your wife's, your smell all over her rotted corpse. How can you EVEN deny that?"  
  
"I... I was hugging her. Because... because I found her already death on the floor. I couldn't believe it. It was all a nightmare."  
  
"Nightmare? It is the mere truth. No, you pretend to be the good guy when we ALL know, you included, you're the culprit. You did it. Spit out the truth, for fuck's sake!"  
  
Ocenia was known for its cruel system. The lack of technology of investigations lead to so many arrests and innocents behind the bars. It was common for many citizens to die in jail or being targeted as murderers all their life. If she was so sure they were the culprit, reality then was applied to her theories and not the other way around. She just wanted someone to be guilty and imprison them.  
  
"It wasn't me. Not me. I could never do it. She was all I had. I'm innocent."  
  
"Even though your parents claimed you were violent at times? To your own wife overall?"  
  
No.  
It wasn't true.  
That was her manipulative ways to obtain a false truth.  
  
"I... came back home."  
  
"Good, and then? You had a fit and killed her?"  
  
"She... was laying on the ground. Eyes focused on the ceiling but staring in the nothingness. Her belly still as big as I remembered. She seemed to move in a..."  
  
He stopped.  
His eyes widened to the wolf woman. White, flashing imagery in front of him, the convulsing body of her deceased wife. Deeper and deeper it went. It laughed.  
The black figure yelled obscenities. It groaned, panted, it enjoyed so much thrusting the woman Lou swore his love to. She couldn't yell, she couldn't cry. Her terror was on her face all along the act. It did it over and over, it complained how hot was she, how much love it wanted to give her and yet never accepted it. How much it punished her, her pleads to spare the baby...  
The baby.  
Lou threw up on his right side. He heard nothing else.  
  
***  
  
There were scars and wounds throughout his body. It must have been her, furious for stopping talking and puke on the floor, losing unconsciousness and waking up screaming his wife's name and asking for her forgiveness.  
He curled up still drowning in his tears. He knew, he knew who did it all. Who used him to open up the victim's stomach and throw the dead fetus away.  
Who had the courage to violate her beloved, who had the courage to betray his trust, his friendship.  
He knew.  
Just... he couldn't say it. It was futile, she already decided he was to be sentenced to death for such a crime.  
His jail was too tiny for his tail to even fit. Such a narrow space he couldn't even avoid wetting himself. He thought of her, he dreamed of her, his unborn baby who could have been a female or male, the future and the projects they had and planned ahead. All shattered in a single moment. All gone.  
  
***  
  
Lou was on the other side. He escaped the nightmare, or so he wanted to think. Ocenia looked for him, the island in a tumult for his escape. Grotesque imageries of her wife still haunted him. But he could have done nothing to prevent it.  
He escaped death for what? He knew he couldn't live with such remorse and hollow in his core. He cried too much to even share a tear anymore; his face was still. Nothing was going to cure him. He would stay emotionless all his life and he didn't mind. In order not to suffer, he would wander the world. Maybe... if he had found that person whom he trusted so much, he could kill him no doubt.  
Don't bother seeking for justice. Since the place he was born and raised in didn't offer any of that.  
He could have been found even after years. He could have escaped one more time, looking for him, trying to live on and seek something to keep him alive and far from insanity.  
Nothing mattered.  
Nothing more.

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to reveal who the TRUE culprit was, but I didn't since the sequel to this story also contains characters who are not mine.  
> For that reason, once everything will be set up, I might write the ending.  
> Unfortunately, I'm sure It'll take a while. Forgive me for that and thank you for reading.


End file.
